Girl......you better be puttin' those things away before you poke somebody's eye out!

OK......I surf the web........a lot. I am always on the lookout for interesting celebrity photos, entertainment news and reviews and good 'ol Hollywood gossip. I do this all for you......my dear readers(and also because I'm somewhat addicted to the Internet......but that's a whole other story). OK......so it's Monday afternoon, and I'm surfing the web. I'm a regular Gidget in Cyberspace(If you don't get the reference, rent the movie "Gidget" from 1959, starring the adorable Sandra Dee. Too cute!) Ooops.......I digress. OK......what I'm getting at is this..........I came across some celebrity red carpet pictures a few moments ago that......well, you know what? They left me speechless. Ya know, that doesn't happen very often. I actually had to sit back and ponder for a few moments before I could blog about them, and forward it on to you. These photos are from a recent Hollywood event called "Dressed to Kilt".....it was an ode to Scottish Fashion(whatever!?). What left me momentarily speechless was the sight of Patricia Arquette (currently starring in the NBC hit "Medium" ) and her husband, actor Thomas Jane, on the red carpet at that event. Here ya go.............take a deep breath................
Yowza!! I'm sorry.............not only is this dress extremely UNattractive.......it looks positively painful! What in the world was going on in Patricia Arquette's mind when she chose, and then put on, this crazy dress? I have a thought. Do ya think she wanted to get noticed? Do ya think she said: "Hey, hon. Just look what I'm gonna wear tonight. I bet the paparazzi are gonna fall all over themselves tryin' to get a shot of us on the red carpet. You know.....you in that crazy kilt.... and me(and the girls)all pushed up in plaid. It's a slam dunk, I tell ya. We're golden!" OK Patricia, well done. Your publicist is smiling from ear to ear. Dear readers.........I guarantee this will not be the last time you see pictures of Patricia in this dress. Mark my words. That was just what she was hoping. Patricia in this dress, reminds me of a certain girl in a certain dress.....not that long ago. Actually, it was the 40th Annual Grammy Awards in February of 2000 as a matter of fact. Another girl, not quite super-famous yet......but definitely ready to make her mark. And she made her mark that night. All it took was a walk down the red carpet in the right dress.Remember this picture of Jennifer Lopez? How could you forget that dress? That picture was everywhere......even the South Park guys wore a version of it to the Oscars that year as a joke. Jennifer and her Versace scarf....i mean dress......were everywhere. She's no dummy..........she became a household name after that. She became J Lo. Then Jenny from the Block. Then....oh I don't know, you get the drift. What I'm getting at is this. Next time you see some actress/singer/wannabe.....on the red carpet in some crazy getup..... think to yourself: "Does she really think that looks good....that crazy dress with her womanhood pushed up and out to there....or what about that green scarf, disguised as a dress, that's barely hiding her uterus. Hmmmm.....is she just tryin' to get her picture in the papers?" I don't think I need to help you out with that answer, now do I? One final thing about Miss Patricia Arquette. I kinda like her show.....and I actually think that she is a pretty good actress. But Patricia.....seriously....... "Medium?" From now on.....when I see that show.....all I'm gonna think of is........... "Extra-Large."