Welcome To: "The Best Of The Oscars" - Red Carpet Rehab Style!

OK, let's get right to it.............

Best-Looking Presenter In A Tux



George Clooney

Seriously..........somebody call Patricia Arquette from "Medium." Is this guy channeling Cary Grant or what?

At the risk of sounding too stuffy and refined......... "Mucho Hunk-a-licious, Georgie!"

Or better yet, in the immortal words of the ever-so-tasteful Borat:




"Very Niiice!"


Best-Looking Presenter NOT In A Tux



Reese Witherspoon

Man.........she must be livin' right. This girl's gone glam in a BIG way!

Reese sure looked great walkin' the Red Carpet......beautiful dress, pretty make-up, awesome hair.

But when Miss Thang sashayed her way up to the podium to present the Oscar for Best Actor -- you could just read the minds of everyone in the Kodak Theatre ............



"What in the heck was Ryan Phillipe thinkin'?"

You go girl...........we can't wait to see what you do next.


Best Acting Award Upset


Alan Arkin - Winner, Best Actor In A Supporting Role for Little Miss Sunshine

Everybody thought Eddie Murphy would win this for his serious turn in Dreamgirls. The critics thought so. The fans thought so. Eddie thought so. Heck, even Alan Arkin thought so!


What a surprise then, when last year's Best Actress In A Supporting Role winner Rachel Weisz opened the envelope and read Alan Arkin's name.

Hmmmm................I'm thinkin' the Academy (i.e. Hollywood) is tellin' Eddie to think more seriously about his choice of film projects in the future.

I can just hear them sayin' :

"Hey Eddie, enjoy those box office receipts from Norbit, you ain't takin' Oscar home this year buddy!"

I'm thinkin' right about now, Eddie is definitely reconsidering Norbit.......and that eerily accurate tagline on the movie poster.................



("Have you ever made a really big mistake?")

Oh well...............maybe Eddie should just take some time off. Ya know -- relax a little bit, and prepare for the impending birth of his lovechild with "Scary Spice" Melanie Brown.

Ooops, I don't think 'ol Eddie has admitted to that one yet. We'll have to wait a few months and see.


And finally, our last award for this edition of "The Best Of The Oscars" ..........

(Don't worry, there's more to come........ just later, after I resume my normal life for a bit)


Best Support of A Best Supporting Actress



Jennifer Hudson's Red Dress

Yikes! Did you see the Dreamgirls song medley with Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce and other cast members from the film?

Just a few thoughts:

#1 - Man, could they have made us wait any longer to see them perform?
#2 - Luckily, the Divas dueling it out through song was definitely worth waiting for.
#3 - Unfortunately, I missed some of it, as I had to briefly avert my eyes, for fear of a serious "wardrobe malfunction" with J Hud's dress!

Believe me, I completely understand that Jennifer was excited.....she did just win an Oscar and all.

But man..........there she was, boppin' and beltin' it out all around the stage, just singin' her heart out -- while in some serious danger of singin' a few other things "out" as well!

Hey Jen, that sparkly red dress was the bomb --

But all I can say is:

"Girl, you may have just won the Oscar....... but your left breast just almost said 'Howdy-Doo' to over a billion people!"

I dunno about you.............

But I'm lookin' forward to J Hud's next hit song.......... "And I Am Tellin' You.......... I'm Not Show'in!"


Well, that's about all for now folks............

But stay tuned -- I haven't even scratched the surface yet!