"The Best Of The Oscars: Part Deux"

Hey there.........I'm back, just needed a little rest after that long night of Oscar celebrating and all of the cyber-surfing afterwards.

Is the show over yet?

Yikes!

I've had some recent requests for comments on the Red Carpet attire from the Oscars. Don't worry, I'll get to that in a minute.

But first, I do want to give out a few more awards for parts of the show itself...........then we'll move on to the outfits.

Here goes:

Best Support of A Pop Star In Crisis



Jack Nicholson

What's with Jumpin' Jack's big 'ol bald head?

When I first saw him in the Oscar audience (front and center of course, sunglasses and all), I thought, "Gee, how nice of him to show support for Brit Brit, and all that she is goin' through in rehab right now."

I mean, if there is anyone in La-La Land who knows about over-indulging.......I'm thinkin' Jack's the "go-to guy."

(I'm sure hopin' it's not because he wants to score a date with her. This is Jack after all......he does like 'em young ya know!)

Actually, I later found out that our boy Jack is a bald-headed wonder because he is currently filming a movie called The Bucket List.

Jack plays a terminal cancer patient in this flick directed by Rob Reiner.

Jack and another patient.................




Mr. Morgan Freeman............escape from the cancer ward and head out on a road trip with a wish-list of goals to complete before they die.

I dunno about you.........but I'm thinkin' there are gonna be seats for Jack, Morgan and Rob at the Oscar ceremony for this one next year. We'll see.


Best Humor By A Presenter



Robert Downey Jr.

I must admit, when I heard his name announced and saw him walk out with Naomi Watts (who's finally admitted that she is preggers with Liev Schreiber's lovechild, by the way.....) ................

I must admit I went.......... "Uhhhhg......."

I've never really been a Downey fan. Couldn't see what all the critical hoopla was about. And as we all know, he's definitely had his troubles with rehab and the law......but now he's -- "clean."

Anyways, all I gotta say is..........the writers wrote a funny line for him, and he delivered it with perfection.

They were presenting the award for Best Visual Effects.

It went something like this.............


Robert:

"Visual Effects: They enable us to see aliens, experience other universes, move in slow motion or watch spiders climbing high above the city landscape.

For me, just a typical weeknight in the mid-90's."


Classic.

Way to go Downey! I'm thinkin' I kinda like ya now.


Best "In Character" Award Presenters



Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt and Meryl Streep (from The Devil Wears Prada )

Anne and Emily stepped up to the podium to present the award for Best Costume Design (naturally!).

They quickly fell into their characters from the film, and a cute bit of banter about which one was supposed to get Meryl (their boss....the "Devil") her cappuccino before the Oscar show.

After a few accusations back and forth...... they both realized neither had done it, and cautiously addressed Madame Meryl (sitting front and center) in the audience with their apologies.

Right on cue, marvelous Meryl gave them both the classic, withering "death stare" that she perfected in the film.

It was a funny moment.........in a night that was otherwise mostly ho-hum.


Now.........on to the really fun awards........ for the Red Carpet attire!

I must say, most of the outfits on the Oscar Red Carpet were actually very nice.

Look at La Lopez ...............


Miss Thang looks positively Diva-licious, with that bling-encrusted neckline and cute short 'do.

Heck, even normally scary hubby Marc Anthony looks like he showered and stopped consorting with the undead for one night. I actually think his hair is clean and there is some real color in his face. Way to go!

I know, I know............go figure.

There are many pictures, all over the internet, of pretty girls in pretty dresses. It seems that these ladies actually put thought into what they should wear to the Oscars.

That definitely makes for a good photo op............but a very boring blog.

Just take a look at some of the winning looks:


Most Beautiful Dame


Dame Helen Mirren

This big winner looked gorgeous..........her hair was beautiful, her makeup flawless and that dress was fantastic. It was made for her personally by designer Christian LaCroix, and looked it. Honestly, she left a lot of younger gals in her dust. You go girl!



Glamorous Gwyneth Paltrow

Like Helen, here was a previous Oscar-winner who looked great as well. I loved her dress, it was unique without being wacky. Her makeup was beautiful and her hair was to die for! (Or is that, "to dye for") I don't know if all of that blondeness actually belongs to her.........(length or color) but she definitely looked great. Life as a mother of Moses and an Apple (and wife of a rock star) must agree with her.


Cate Blanchett

Another previous Oscar-winner......I really think that Cate looked great as well. She always seems to take fashion risks...........you'd never see her in something that looks like it belongs at the Junior Prom! I loved the metallic color and the simple lines of this gown. Her hair and makeup were flawless as well. Good show!

Ya know, all of the above lovelies have ties to that country "across the Pond." Must be something about playing a Queen (both Helen and Cate) or doing Shakespeare (all 3) that helps you in the fashion department.

I also notice that none of them look like they've visited the "Mystic Tan" parlor multiple times. See, pale is definitely in ladies. (I'm talkin' to you -- Paris and Jessica).

Back to the awards................

My award for Most Improved Nominee:


Miss Rinko Kikuchi from Babel.

Do ya remember her puffy poodle pink monstrosity of fluff and frills from the Globes? Yikes! Rinko definitely cleaned up her act.......left the pom-poms at home and shimmied herself into a beautiful black mermaid-style glamour gown.

Good job Rinko. By the way...........if you've seen Babel, you'll know what I mean when I say that it's actually just nice to see her in any clothes at all! Sheesh!


Now for some awards for the more disappointing gowns on the carpet:


Most Unflattering (yet Utilitarian)



Nicole Kidman

Nicole was a little off that night, in her long red sheath -- with the odd-shaped bow at the neck.

I must admit, I was surprised at Nicole's fashion choice. Usually she is one of the more glamorous ladies on the carpet. No question..........she has great style. And look at her, she's gorgeous (but I do think that she needs to eat a sandwich every now and then).

I really think that this dress choice was a purely selfless one. Her husband Keith Urban is just recently out of rehab, and decided to join her at the Oscars. Nicole is happy about this and decides to make the evening a little easier on Keith.

How better to keep him comfortable during the long show than to wear a dress/cup-holder for him to discreetly hide his beer.......oops, I mean ROOT beer. Just look up at that picture again....... you can't even see the Bud Light can in there. Good thinkin' Nic!


The next award ended in a tie................

There were 2 winners for:

"You're In A Movie About Fashion, But Your Outfit Doesn't Show It"

Winner #1:


Anne Hathaway


I call this dress:

"The Devil Wears A Big, Black Bow On Her Breasts."

All I can say is............"Yuck!"


Winner #2:


Meryl Streep


I call this dress:

"The Devil Wears Prada (which it is), While Visiting Monks in Tibet, After Buying Jewelry From The Joan Rivers Collection on the Home Shopping Network."


Just proves that you don't have to BE a fashionista, to PLAY a fashionista.


Unfortunately, I just have time for two more award-winners in today's blog (believe me......I could go on for days!)

Most Shiny Scientologist Award:

Kelly Preston (aka - "Mrs. John Travolta")

Seriously? This dress to the Oscars? And then she had the nerve to brag that "Johnny" had picked it out for her. C'mon John.........you can do better than that.

This dress looks like some sort of 70's-era lounging nightgown to me........it's so shiny and satiny. And a leopard print to boot. Hello?

And if I'm not mistaken............doesn't it look like she is flashing the Star Trek Vulcan sign for "Hello"? Wait a minute, I'm confused. Are the Travoltas Vulcan or Scientologist? Or is that the same thing? I know they believe in "auditing", L. Ron Hubbard and hate Ritalin. Is Dr. Spock one of them too?

Oh well. Let's just say she looks like she's on her way to an awesome Scientologist Safari ......and leave it at that.


Finally...................


The "Blast From The Past Award" :


Miss "Come A-Knock On Our Door" Herself.................

Saucy Suzanne Somers

This photo was taken outside of the swanky Vanity Fair Oscar Viewing Party at Morton's Restaurant.

As you may have heard...........Suzanne recently lost her home in Malibu in a freak wildfire. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the blaze.......but Suzanne lost everything.

Everything, that is...........except this fabulous gown that she had saved for years.......since the wrap party from her first year as Chrissy Snow on "Three's Company."

In 1977.

That's 30 years ago people.

(Actually, I'm just kiddin' about where the gown is from. It could be brand new for all I know......Yikes! )

However, what I do know is this...................

I'm thinkin' that with all those "Thighmaster" profits, Miss Somers could afford to outfit herself is somethin' a little more Oscar-worthy...........and a little less like, I dunno....... a shiny walking wrist corsage?

Just a thought.

Sheesh............who designed this get-up................

"Fashions by FTD"?


Well, I guess that's a wrap for this edition of "The Best Of The Oscars."

I hope you enjoyed my little peek into the lovely world of Red Carpet Triumphs and Disasters.

Just think..........only about 360 days until it happens all over again.

Yay!