We're Wet.....We're Wild.....We're Back From The Beach!

Quick Question:

What's better than 7 days filled with sun, sand and seclusion?

Answer:

7 days spent searching for sun, sand and seclusion...........that's what!


Hey y'all.............

Yes, we're back from an interesting week, visiting beautiful Ft. Lauderdale Beach.

Ya know, the anticipation for this trip was almost too much to bear.

Just the mere thought of a week filled with sunblock, peace and quiet and the occasional umbrella drink-- brought a huge smile to our faces.

Hmmm..............

What's that saying about "best-laid plans" ?

Howz-about I tell y'all a little story.

First of all, let me say this -- Ft. Lauderdale Beach is nice......................



-- Nice and popular, that is.

Ya know, at first we weren't sure that we liked the crowds. But by the second afternoon, it seemed to have thinned out a bit -- and we were able to find a good spot for a lounge chair and some serious sunning.


Yes, there we are.

I think you can just make us out...........see.....there, just behind that large red umbrella in the middle.

"Hey..........watch those elbows there buddy, and just pass the SPF 30, will ya?"

After much jockeying for the perfect lounge chair placement, we finally found out that we had chosen an area of the beach known for it's celebrity sightings.

Now, knowing me as you do..........you understand that nothing made me happier than this news.

After settling in, our fellow sun-worshippers regaled us with stories of the celebs they had seen over the past few days --

For example:



An ecstatic Angelina Jolie, playing jet-ski tag with
Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax
(We're not sure if those were her kids -- or the partners in a multi-cultural Miami law firm)



A fit and trim Matt Lauer, on location in Fort Lauderdale--

-- filming his upcoming infomercial titled: "Abs of Steel -- Matt's Middle-Age, Mid-Section Muscle Miracles!"


In addition, a somewhat less fit and trim Hulk Hogan, also on hand to film an infomercial.

His has the dubious title: "Hulk Hogan's Seriously Slenderizing 'See-Food Diet' --When U See Food, U Eat It!"

(I may be a little out of touch with the weight-loss industry, but I'm thinkin' the Hulkster ain't gonna break many sales records with that one. )

Unfortunately, we braved the crowds on that beach for 3 days, and never once caught sight of a celeb.

(Although we did meet quite a few sunbathers who looked remarkably like George Hamil-TAN .........



.........there were still no real celebs in the bunch!)

Determined to find a more secluded spot for sunning, we ventured futher south.......off the beaten track -- and found a sheltered, overgrown pathway to a somewhat deserted island.

Solitude at last!

We were thrilled with our discovery, and enjoying the peace and quiet, when all of a sudden a strange rag-tag group of people appeared on our small stretch of sand.


They seemed very confused about our arrival (and what year it was) , and kept muttering something about a "Three Hour Tour."

We tried our best to explain that we weren't interested in a tour, we just wanted to get some sun and a little peace and quiet.

Unfortunately, they wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

The goofy one that they called "Little Buddy" kept trying to distract us, while the one that was some kind of a "Professor" tried to grab our iPod and cell phones.

We were quick, but The Prof did run away with my new digital watch.

Nice!

Luckily, we managed to escape (in the cutest little boat named "S.S. Minnow" ) -- and we sailed our way over to the other side of the island.

Aaahhhh...........

Peace and quiet at last!

Nope.

Believe it or not............it was quiet for all of about 10 minutes, and then another rag-tag group of beachcombers descended upon us.

C'mon people -- all we wanted was a little fun in the Florida sun............



.............and instead we get these jokers.

They were so super serious, and started asking us all sorts of cryptic questions about "The Others" and "The Hatch" and did we push "The button" .............

And then they're all......... "Why aren't the ratings as good this year?" and "Why can't ABC come up with a better lead-in for us?" and finally....... "If we're on a deserted island without any food, how come Hurley is still so big?"

I mean seriously...........we thought their questions would never end. And lord knows..........I didn't have any answers!

Between our fruitless search for sun and seclusion, and this crazy cast of characters -- our quest for a peaceful vacation was starting to feel like a conspiracy or something.

Thinking fast, I distracted the mad mob ("Look, a rescue boat -- full of "Nielsen Families!" ) --and we ran like the wind toward the nearest deserted stretch of beach we could find.

Ya know what?

We found it................

A nice, quiet, secluded stretch of beach.

No people, no chairs, no wacky "Professors" or questioning mobs.

Perfect for sunning and sleeping the day away.

Unfortunately, there would be no sleeping the day away.

It didn't take long for us to figure out why this beach was so empty.................


After a mere moments consideration, we decided -- Oh what the heck, what's a little jet engine noise........when you can finally have a beautiful sunny beach, all to yourself?

(Actually, the noise wasn't all that bad.........once we figured out how to make those earplugs out of seaweed. I just knew that subscription to Martha Stewart Living would come in handy some day! )

Well, I'm happy to report that we decided to finish out our vacation on that lovely, secluded (somewhat noisy) stretch of Florida sand.

We took our chances with the possible loss of life, limb and hearing -- just to have a little solitude.

But ya know what?

It did start to get a little lonely.

I mean.....yes, we did have that low-flying jet aircraft buzzing by every hour on the hour........

But no one else to talk to.

That is......until the last day.

Amazingly, like a siren from the sea -- a lone sunbather emerged from the ocean and sat down next to us --


We happily spent our last full day on the beach with our new friend Borat, a fellow traveler from a far-away land called Kazakhstan.

Aside from his curious choice of swimwear, Borat's only annoying habit was to continually ask: "Do you know what time it is?"

Unfortunately, "The Professor" had stolen my watch.

"No, Borat.......as I told you the last 50 times you asked, we don't know what time it is."

And then, for the 50th time --

"That's OK ladies.............eeeez 'Sexy Time' ! "

Let's just say.....by the end of that day, it wasn't so hard saying "bye, bye" to Borat.............

....................and "hello" to home.

So now we're back in Ohio........with only fond memories from our event-filled week at the beach.

After all of that unexpected vacation excitement, I hope this week isn't going to seem too boring.

Oh wait, I almost forgot -- we did find something that last day on the beach, and we brought it home with us as a souvenir.

A little sparkly thing that had washed up on the sand..............

Hmmmm.............now where did I put that bottle?