Welcome To: "The Best Of The Oscars" - Red Carpet Rehab Style!

OK, let's get right to it.............

Best-Looking Presenter In A Tux



George Clooney

Seriously..........somebody call Patricia Arquette from "Medium." Is this guy channeling Cary Grant or what?

At the risk of sounding too stuffy and refined......... "Mucho Hunk-a-licious, Georgie!"

Or better yet, in the immortal words of the ever-so-tasteful Borat:




"Very Niiice!"


Best-Looking Presenter NOT In A Tux



Reese Witherspoon

Man.........she must be livin' right. This girl's gone glam in a BIG way!

Reese sure looked great walkin' the Red Carpet......beautiful dress, pretty make-up, awesome hair.

But when Miss Thang sashayed her way up to the podium to present the Oscar for Best Actor -- you could just read the minds of everyone in the Kodak Theatre ............



"What in the heck was Ryan Phillipe thinkin'?"

You go girl...........we can't wait to see what you do next.


Best Acting Award Upset


Alan Arkin - Winner, Best Actor In A Supporting Role for Little Miss Sunshine

Everybody thought Eddie Murphy would win this for his serious turn in Dreamgirls. The critics thought so. The fans thought so. Eddie thought so. Heck, even Alan Arkin thought so!


What a surprise then, when last year's Best Actress In A Supporting Role winner Rachel Weisz opened the envelope and read Alan Arkin's name.

Hmmmm................I'm thinkin' the Academy (i.e. Hollywood) is tellin' Eddie to think more seriously about his choice of film projects in the future.

I can just hear them sayin' :

"Hey Eddie, enjoy those box office receipts from Norbit, you ain't takin' Oscar home this year buddy!"

I'm thinkin' right about now, Eddie is definitely reconsidering Norbit.......and that eerily accurate tagline on the movie poster.................



("Have you ever made a really big mistake?")

Oh well...............maybe Eddie should just take some time off. Ya know -- relax a little bit, and prepare for the impending birth of his lovechild with "Scary Spice" Melanie Brown.

Ooops, I don't think 'ol Eddie has admitted to that one yet. We'll have to wait a few months and see.


And finally, our last award for this edition of "The Best Of The Oscars" ..........

(Don't worry, there's more to come........ just later, after I resume my normal life for a bit)


Best Support of A Best Supporting Actress



Jennifer Hudson's Red Dress

Yikes! Did you see the Dreamgirls song medley with Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce and other cast members from the film?

Just a few thoughts:

#1 - Man, could they have made us wait any longer to see them perform?
#2 - Luckily, the Divas dueling it out through song was definitely worth waiting for.
#3 - Unfortunately, I missed some of it, as I had to briefly avert my eyes, for fear of a serious "wardrobe malfunction" with J Hud's dress!

Believe me, I completely understand that Jennifer was excited.....she did just win an Oscar and all.

But man..........there she was, boppin' and beltin' it out all around the stage, just singin' her heart out -- while in some serious danger of singin' a few other things "out" as well!

Hey Jen, that sparkly red dress was the bomb --

But all I can say is:

"Girl, you may have just won the Oscar....... but your left breast just almost said 'Howdy-Doo' to over a billion people!"

I dunno about you.............

But I'm lookin' forward to J Hud's next hit song.......... "And I Am Tellin' You.......... I'm Not Show'in!"


Well, that's about all for now folks............

But stay tuned -- I haven't even scratched the surface yet!

Ready Or Not......Here Are My Oscar Picks

Well..........the big show is only 2 days away.

I can hardly wait!

Once again, we're havin' about 12 people over for an Oscar viewing party. I'm not cookin'........... (Heavens, no!) just some good pizzas and a few really decadent desserts ( oh yeah...........and maybe some alcoholic beverages -- champagne cocktail, anyone?).



My real thrill is pulling together the games that we play during the commercials --

I've created an Oscar Edition "Name That Tune" , a big posterboard with color photos of female celebrities in their Oscar gowns for "Guess That Dress" (yes, all of their heads are cut off.....), I've got movie quote trivia sheets, Oscar trivia sheets and of course......everyone has to fill out a ballot.

I give out all sorts of fun prizes -- everything from microwave popcorn, theatre candy and movie posters............


to fake diamond jewelry and DVD's (both good AND bad!).

It's usually a lot of fun and everyone gets into the spirit of the evening.

It helps that I strongly encourage all invited to wear "movie-themed or Red Carpet attire."


(Man..........I sure wish Bjork could make it this year. There's nuthin' like a good "bird-over-the-neck dress" to put you in the Oscar party mood!)


I've been workin' on my outfit for this year........ (it is an "homage" to one of the major nominees). Can't tell you about it now......... I'm keepin' it on the QT.

No, not this nominee.................



And no, it's not this one either.........



(FYI -- that's from Pan's Labyrinth, up for Best Foreign Language Film.....among other noms).

Hmmm............actually -- for me, that costume above doesn't look like such a stretch! Yikes!!

Anyways, I plan to take lots and lots of pictures -- and I will post some of them on Monday's Oscar Recap Edition of Red Carpet Rehab.

I mean c'mon..............I live for this stuff!

I'm like a kid in a candy store!

Or is that....... Mel Gibson in a liquor store?



Ooops...............


Whichever -- I'm lookin' forward to it.

Since I probably won't be postin' again until after the big night..............

I thought I would write down all of my Oscar picks now.

(Remember, this is who I think WILL win -- not who I WISH would win)

Here goes...............

Best Picture - Little Miss Sunshine (I love this AND The Departed, I'll b happy with either. Some insiders are sayin' it will b Babel.....but I think there is some last-minute momentum for Little Miss, and it may surprise everyone like Crash did last year

Best Director - Martin Scorcese - The Departed

Best Actor - Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

Best Supporting Actor - Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls (would love Mark Wahlberg to get it!)

Best Actress - Helen Mirren - The Queen (If she doesn't win, I'll b truly shocked)

Best Supporting Actress - Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls (lookin' forward to her singin' her nominated song -- "I Love You, I Do" )

Those are the main 6................

Below are the rest -- (Ya know, the catagories that people don't really care about. The catagories that people use to go to the bathroom)

Obviously, these picks are harder.....but I manage to do a little research on these, just cuz I'm competitive and I like my ballot to have as many correct as possible)

We'll see......................

Animated Feature - Cars
Art Direction - Dreamgirls
Cinematography - Children of Men
Costume Design - Marie Antoinette
Documentary Feature - An Inconvenient Truth
Documentary Short - Two Hands
Film Editing - United 93
Foreign Language Film - Pan's Labyrinth
Makeup - Pan's Labyrinth
Original Score - The Queen
Original Song - "Listen" - Dreamgirls
Short Film (Animated) - The Little Match Girl
Short Film (Live Action) - Eramos Pocos (One Too Many)
Sound Editing - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Sound Mixing - Dreamgirls
Visual Effects - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Screenplay (Adapted) - The Departed (But I would love Borat to win, just to hear his speech! )
Screenplay (Original) - Little Miss Sunshine

Well...........those are all of my picks.

We'll have to wait until Sunday night around midnight to see if I know what I'm talking about
(ya know......it is questionable at times!).

Have a great weekend everyone!




See ya on the Red Carpet!

"....and I'd like to thank the Academy for this honor......"

Just take a look at the lovely Grace Kelly, accepting the 1954 Best Actress Oscar for her role in The Country Girl .

It just doesn't get much more glamorous than that.

Yes, she managed to look like a swan...........without actually wearing one.

Although Grace Kelly's Oscar acceptance speech didn't specifically thank the Academy, it was short and sweet:

"The thrill of this moment keeps me from saying what I really feel. I can only say thank you with all my heart to all who made this possible for me. Thank you!"


For her role in The Country Girl, Grace played against type -- portraying the plain, embittered wife of an aging and alcoholic matinee idol (Bing Crosby) who tries to cover up for her husband's weaknesses, but is misunderstood in her motives.

At the time, famed Hollywood columnist Hedda Hopper reported that Judy Garland's loss of the Academy Award(for A Star Is Born) to Grace Kelly(for The Country Girl) in 1954 was the result of the closest Oscar vote up till that time that didn't end in a tie, with just six votes separating the two. In any event, it was a heartbreak from which Judy Garland never really recovered, and which has remained a matter of some controversy ever since.

A year after winning her Country Girl prize, Grace Kelly permanently retired from acting, to become Princess Grace of Monaco.


Well................

My name may be Kelly -- oops, I mean Cagey :) ................but "Grace" is definitely NOT my first name ( or one of my better qualities, which you may know -- if you're at all familiar with the whole "subway incident" ) ........




Anyways..............

I may lack "Grace" -- but I do however, have an acceptance speech of my own to make -- with a very sincere "Thank You."

You see, believe it or not dear readers................

I am now a member of the Academy.



No, not the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences --AMPAS .............

I am a brand new member of CAMPP........The Columbus Academy of Motion Picture Pickers.

Huh?

Take a look at this short article from The Columbus Dispatch that was forwarded to me, by my friend Katie Cannon, a few weeks ago:


MEMBERS SOUGHT FOR CAMPP

Published: Wednesday, January 31, 2007

FEATURES - LIFE 03F

We're looking for six good men or women eager to join our Columbus Academy of Motion Picture Pickers.
For the second year, our CAMPPers will name their choices for best actor, actress, supporting actor, supporting actress, director and picture from the Academy Award nominees before the Feb. 25 broadcast.
Would you like to be one of our new members? Tell us why you should be chosen.

The membership rules:
* You must be 17 or older and live in central Ohio.
* You must have seen each of the movies in the picture, directing and acting categories; and return your ballot to us by Feb. 12.
* You must allow us to print your name, age, job title, affiliation or student status and a photograph.

To take part, write The Dispatch in care of Life, CAMPP, 34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, Ohio 43215. Or send e-mail to talking@dispatch.com and put "CAMPP" in the subject line.

Be sure to include your full name, address, age, phone numbers, occupation and -- most important -- two or three sentences explaining why you ought to be chosen.



So, after prodding from Katie -- I decided, what the heck -- and sent in a submission letter.

It was definitely more than 2 or 3 sentences......I wrote about my life-long love of the movies, my obsession at 8-years-old with Casablanca and Humphrey Bogart and my love of everything "Oscar." (except Oscar Meyer, that is).

I also included a photo from my Oscar-viewing party last year:


(That's me as Marilyn and JJ as Joan Crawford, fighting over Oscar)


and I even threw in a link to Red Carpet Rehab for good measure.


Hmmmm..........you know the saying -- "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it" ?

Well, like Grace Kelly in 1954, I now have a short, but sweet, acceptance speech to give:


"I would like to thank my good friend Katie Cannon for this esteemed honor. Katie sent me the article about the CAMPP contest, and made me promise to enter. Although interested, I was definitely dragging my feet about it. Katie, a true fan of Red Carpet Rehab -- never fails to send me her favorable comments. Mostly because I didn't want to let Katie down....I went ahead and sent in a submission letter. Katie said she would cancel her subscription to The Dispatch if I didn't get picked, and I promised to 'thank her in my acceptance speech' if I was chosen."


Well............

Amazingly, they did pick me -- and.......I keep my promises.

So again, "Thank you, Katie. I couldn't have done it without ya!"

(I'm very happy to say, it won't be my fault if Katie Cannon isn't up-to-date on the daily news.)

So what does all of this mean?

It means I've been watchin' a lot of movies over the past three weeks.

(Not a lot of laundry got done, but hey........this is the Academy we're talkin' about!)

Naturally........I took my job seriously (as any Academy member would). I forged ahead in my quest to see all of the nominated pictures, directors and actors........16 in all.

(There are a total of 30 nominees --5 nominees in each of the 6 main catagories, but only 16 different films are represented -- because some films obviously have more than 1 nomination).

I also went to a meeting with all of the CAMPP members (30 of us -- inducted "for life") , and the 3 movie and arts reviewers/critics for The Dispatch. We all discussed the movies (hated that!), were informed of our "duties" and took group and individual photos.

Finally, I filled out my ballot (of who I think should win, not will win) -- and wrote a brief comment of why I picked who I did -- for each of the 6 main catagories.

I emailed all of my picks and observations to The Dispatch last Friday.

Now, we'll just have to wait and see how it all turns out on Oscar day-- this Sunday, February 25th.

I don't exactly know how much of all this is going to make it into the paper.......they said that they will probably use 1 or 2 comment quotes from each of us -- along with the group photo (taken at the Drexel Gateway Theatre on Campus) , and maybe some individual shots.

Who knows?

It was definitely fun to do.......and if they decide to run the feature again, I get to do it all over again next year.

So if you're interested, check out The Dispatch -- this Sunday, February 25th. I think it will be on the front page of either the Arts or Life section.

And instead of thanking my agent, my lawyer, my manager and "the best crew that anyone has ever had to work with"........I'm gonna once again thank my friend, and loyal Rehab reader, Katie Cannon -- for actually thinking I'm funny and telling me to do this.

Guess what?

I love being a member of the Academy.................



Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go do some laundry.

"Oops!......She Did It Again"

OK...................

I'm speechless............at a loss for words.............mute.

That doesn't happen very often, believe me!

What do you say about this?

Train wreck?

Psychotic Break?

Head Lice?

I don't know about you, but I'm scared to admit that I'm startin' to think that
K-Fed was the sane one in that duo.........


Yikes!

I don't have a lot to post about this, as I am still processing it.

One thing I do know, there is gonna be at least one good joke about it on the Oscars this Sunday eve ( or at least I'm hopin'.....).

Here are some pix of our Brit Brit, arriving at LAX, just a few hours before the infamous shearing occurred:


Look at her. She looks happy and somewhat normal. She still looks a little.....
I dunno.....HO-ish......but she sure has a big 'ol smile.

Hmmmm...........maybe she a-thinkin'.............

Just wait, y'all think you've got me figgered out. Ya think my fifteen minutes are almost up? Sure they are.....just watch. In a few hours, I'm gonna be all over the internet, in the papers, splashed across your TV.......you won't be able to hide from me........

.......little kids, soccer moms, businessmen, movie stars......even your grandma's gonna be talkin' about me ---

--- just wait.

So.......as we all know now, Brit went to Esther's Haircutting Studio in
Tarzana, California........

(didja know that "Tarzan" was named for Tarzana, CA ......the writer lived there or somethin' like that.......just another bit of useless trivia that is stuck in my head --so I thought I'd share.........)

Any-who................

Here's Brit at Esther's --

Yep..............when the girl does it, she sure knows how to do it!

Well, as I mentioned before -- I don't have a lot to say about this............not quite sure what's goin' on, time will definitely tell.

However, I do want to mention how great I think it is that other female celebrities have quickly gathered in Britney's corner -- ya know, to show her their love and support.

Seriously folks ............only in Hollywood would you see such unselfish compassion for a fellow artist who so obviously is going through a major crisis right now.

Just take a look at a few of the famous women who have come out in support of ........
"Britney -- Bald Is Beautiful."


Brooke Shields...........


Sandra Bullock.............


Faith Hill..................


Halle Berry................



Uma Thurman.....................


Heck.....even Britney's former rival for the affections of her one, true love..............
Justin Timberlake -- even Cameron Diaz is showing her support for Bald Britney. Gotta love it! True sisterhood in action.

Only in Hollywood my friends........only in Hollywood.

Now.................if we could only get ahold of Paris Hilton.

I'm sure if she knew about this crisis......and what Britney was going through right now -- she'd drop everything she was doing (or......whoever she was doing.......) and she would rush to
Brit Brit's side.

You just know, that's the kind of friend Paris is............ genuine, supportive, true blue.

Hmmmmm...................I wonder what she's up to?

Ooops...................we better check back later.

Don't let Britney see this -- I think she might have a razor with Paris' name on it!

Stay tuned!

"And They Called It Puppy Love........"

Oh, I guess they'll never know

How a young heart really feels

And why I love her so."


Happy Valentines Day Dear Readers!

Thank you to everyone who answered my request for help with this Valentine edition of Red Carpet Rehab.

Because Red Carpet Rehab is all about celebrities..........and Valentine's Day is all about love, crushes, chocolate hearts and candy kisses (and apparently if you live in Ohio, most of the Midwest or lucky upstate New York -- it's also all about SNOW)...........

Anyhow............

It got me thinking.

About my 'tween years. About the various crushes I had on Pop stars and teen idols. The posters on the bedroom wall, copies of Tiger Beat magazine, 8-track tapes and album covers.

Things I just don't think about much anymore.

I'm just guessin' that a lot of you can probably relate.

So this edition of Red Carpet Rehab is all about that.

A sort of: "Who was the celebrity 'Puppy Love' of your youth?"

Well, I guess I'll start...........

If the photo and song lyrics above didn't give it away already.....one of my very first girlhood celebrity crushes was on Mr. Mormon himself.....Mr. Pearly Whites.....Mr. "And I'm a Little Bit rock 'N Roll"......

Donny Osmond.

Actually, both my sister Julie and I had crushes on darling Donny.

However, I truly felt that since I was a full year and a half older.....I had a much better chance of winning his heart.

(Shoot.......had I known more about Mormons back then, we wouldn't have had to fight over him at all, he could've married us BOTH!)

Anyways........

I'm not really sure what it was about Donny that we loved so much. Sure, he was a cute kid and all......but looking at those pictures now..........

Ya know........ he wasn't really very masculine, was he?

The big smile, the floppy hair, the squeaky-clean image.........
(the White Pimp Suit?). I'm startin' to think all of us girls (and there were a lot of us back then, believe me......) were just in love with him because he was so.....so....I don't know, so non-threatening.

I mean, he readily admitted his favorite color was............. PURPLE!

He was always showing us TV viewers his purple socks.
( "A Little Bit Rock 'N Roll" .....yeah right! And Barry Manilow is a womanizer!)

If you remember........... a lot of those teen idols were like that. Kinda......girly. Sweet, with big smiles, shiny clothes and big, fluffy hair.

Not a tatoo on any of 'em.

But that's kinda why we loved them, right?

I know I sure loved Donny. My sister Julie sure loved Donny.

I will admit............we must not have loved him enough though, because we didn't buy all of the Donny goodies.

But guess what. Someone else did........and they still have them all now. Take a look at just a few of the Donny items that I found on the internet:

An awesome cassette tape of Donny -- Gee, he's so multi-cultural. I wonder if he's actually singing in "Canadian?"



Cool Donny (and Marie) lunchboxes...........Ooooh, check out the thermos! And look.....silly Marie changed her hair, but our Donny stayed the same!

Awesome.......an 8-track tape......2 to be exact. Didn't ya just love the noise it made when it was switching tracks. Especially if it was right in the middle of a good song......ya know, like: "One Bad Apple."

(Love the PURPLE velvet hat, by the way! Donny would be perfect to do a remake of last year's Oscar-winning original song from the movie Hustle and Flow -- "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp." )


Finally, what every 'tween girl needs. A sleeping bag. And not just any sleeping bag........a Donny (and Marie) sleeping bag.

Oh man..........do I want this sleeping bag! Actually, what I meant to say is....the 12-year-old in me really wants this sleeping bag.

Couldn't you just see bringin' that to a slumber party?

Ya know, the one you were so excited to get invited to........but then you got into a big fight with your friend Kristin right before, and she told you that Jenny didn't really want to invite you......but your mom was friends with her mom, so Jenny's mom made her......and then you cried and you told Kristin that you really didn't like her new earth shoes.......and she said everyone thinks you look just like Kristy McNichol..........then you told her that she can't do "The Hustle" and then you both realized neither one of you could do "The Hustle," so you laughed and made up......and traded Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, put on the radio and lip-synched to "Rock The Boat" by The Hues Corporation ("Our love is like a ship on the ocean......we've been sailing with a cargo full of, love and de-vo-shun").

Yep, that's a pretty cool sleeping bag.

Oooops.........sorry about the flashback. Back to my boy Donny.

Did I mention that Jules was in love with him as well?...........

(We kinda had that Hilary/Haylie Duff thing goin' on......or was that Marcia and Jan?)

I dunno.

Well......here's what Julie wrote in to say about her crushes:

"One of my big crushes was none other than Mr. Puppy Love himself, Donny Osmond. My highlight one summer was sitting in the 1st row at the Ohio State Fair watching the Osmond Brothers. I was screaming, standing on my chair, no tears though, I was too young for that. Now he is Mr. “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” .....which makes me, and probably his mom Olive (rest her soul), very happy."



Yes.....I'm thrilled to say that Donny did not go the way of many other teen idols (more on that later). He did however, go the way of many Mormons.

He married happily, and had lots of kids. In fact, I think some of them even sing and dance (and I'm sure they wear PURPLE!)

Here's a recent shot of our former teen crush, all grown up (and without the wig and wacky-colored coat)...............

(I can't tell.....but I bet he's wearin' PURPLE socks!)


Yay Donny! Glad to see ya so happy, healthy and still handsome. Good for you.

Now, as teen crushes tend to do............our love for Donny eventually started to fade. We moved on to older, wiser men.

For my sister, it was Bobby Sherman.

(The fact that he had a big hit song with her name in the title, may have had something to do with it).


Her thoughts on this crush:

"My other crush was Mr. Bobby Sherman -- “Julie, Julie, Julie Do You Love Me?”. Of course, I thought he was singing that song to me. I had a tin lunch box that I carried until the 4th grade. After that, it was a bit nerdy. I always sat through all 9 episodes of “Here Come the Brides”. I think I did have a poster or two from Teen Beat mag as well.

Now, when I said older and wiser men, I wasn't kiddin'. As you can see here, Bobby is neither wearing PURPLE nor a Pimp Hat. Well done.

Enough about Julie and I..........it's time to hear what some of the rest of you had to say about the crushes of your youth:

My wonderful friend Marri was the first to reply:

"My greatest love of all was... LEIF GARRETT !


What a loser he has become. I told everyone I knew that I would marry him someday. If he had married me maybe he would not be in jail!

Anyway, I had scrapbooks and posters all over my room. The best one was him in baby blue satin pants and a white shirt. The caption read, "Have a Hot Summer" Love, Leif. To this day, one of my brother-in-laws will still say that to me!"

Yes, Marri is a brave girl to speak of her love for Leif (I never knew if you were supposed to pronounce it - Leef or Lay-ffff).

Anywho...........although I'm not exactly sure what he did for a living,

Leif was a very popular teen idol back then..............

But oh boy...........check him out now!



Hmmmm.......his most recent arrest was for felony heroin possession and fare evasion. Fare evasion? Yes, Leif was caught trying to ride the London subway.....without a ticket.

Marri.........I'm with ya girl. He totally would have been better off with you. First of all.....you have a car. No need to ride the subway. And then there's the heroin. Hey, you don't even like heroin. (Speaking of heroin -- what happened to his hair? Just curious.) Oh well, those wacky teen idols never learn.

Thanks, Marri......for fessin' up about your crush.

Now, on to Jennifer (JJ) -- yes, she is the red bubble dress diva...............

Jennifer wrote in with this little tidbit:

"At the risk of being 'outed' to the many who don't know......I had it really bad for Shaun Cassidy.


......And I did get to meet him and have my picture taken with him...my grandmother's comment on that was, 'Is that the Irish boy you took to the Prom?' (only half-right)"


JJ need not be ashamed of Shaun ("Da Doo Ron Ron") Cassidy. Even though he had prettier hair than most all of my girlfriends in middle school........


..........he did not end up in prison.


As a matter of fact, Shaun went from hit singles and "Hardy Boys" ..........


.......... to becoming quite an influential television writer/producer himself. Most recently, the sci-fi TV drama "Invasion" that aired last year.

Not bad JJ......as far as I can tell, he's never tried to ride the subway without a ticket,

and look...........the heroin, I mean hairdo, is lookin' pretty good now too.
Way to go Shaun!


My friend Marla answered my crush request with a very brief reply:

"I had a thing for Bruce Springsteen."


Now, I'm not quite sure at what age she was talkin' about.......because I don't think anyone has ever called "The Boss" a teen idol.

Maybe Marla was just a little advanced for her age. Here we were......crushin' on guys with big teeth and feathered hair, and she was crazy about this.......


a guitar-playin' dude from Jersey with facial hair.

Yikes! Can you imagine if he was a "teen idol"? I would hate to have been the photographer from Tiger Beat that had to ask Bruce to pose for a magazine spread with leather and a pimp hat!


Hmmmm..........on second thought..............

Really, I'm just funnin' with Marla -- because although she didn't specify, I'm thinkin' she was referring to the "Born In The USA" - era Bruce Springsteen.

Although...........when I see this picture, all I can think about is -- Mike Reno, the headband-wearin' lead singer from "Loverboy" ("Everybody's workin' for the weekend........").

That's cool Marla. Even though he was never a teen idol.....as far as I'm concerned, "The Boss" is definitely crush-worthy. Good job!
(By the way, his song "Jungleland" ......awesome! Should be a movie.)

OK...............

We have but a few more teen idols to hear about.

My good friend Lois had this to say to my crush request:

"Davy Jones from the Monkees."




Now I'll admit...........Lois was very brief, but to the point. Speaking of brief.....just how tall is Mr. Davy Jones anyways? I mean, I think this guy would look up to Tatoo on "Fantasy Island."

I kid, I kid.

In all honesty, I was a little crazy for Davy myself. "Hey, hey we're the Monkees!" Seriously, I loved those guys too. And Davy was totally the cute one, right? What was with that tall one and the goofy hat?


No.....Davy was definitely a cutie-pie. Adorable and small (non-threatening, remember?) and with that awesome British accent.

And how about when he guest-starred on "The Brady Bunch"........


.......and Marcia told everyone that she knew him and that he was going to sing at their school dance.

Of course she was fibbing, got caught in the lie and had to try to make it right. Somehow she found her way to his recording studio(and got to hear him sing: "Girl, look what you've done to me......") She pleaded her case....but to no avail. His mean manager kicked her out before she could even talk to Davy.

Lucky for Marcia, Davy heard it all over the monitor.......he shows up at her house.....and ends up giving her a kiss!

Who remembers Marcia's famous line to her parents at the end of the episode? Yep....... "I'll never wash this cheek again!"

Lucky girl.

Well, I have no idea what Davy is up to now, but he still looks pretty good.

I think that the Monkees periodically tour together. That would be a fun show to see............as long as the tall guy didn't wear that hat.

Good crush choice, Lois.

My friend Janet had some very funny things to say about her 3 crushes:


"Peter Noonan of the Herman's Hermits ("I'm Henry the Eighth I Am" and "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter")..........


That strong British accent was "sooooooooooo cute." He was a regular on the TV shows "Shindig" and "Hullabaloo."

She goes on to say......

"I'm embarrassed to admit to this one, but....Tom Jones..........



This was pre-plastic surgery, (but post-sock-in-the-pants!) :) "


"Also, Joe Namath of the New York Jets..........




So what if his nose rivaled Jimmy Durante's ...he was tall & handsome and talented and always had a devilish sparkle in his eye. Later, as an adult, I chaired a large fundraiser solely because Joe was to be the guest of honor. We sat together, talked a lot and yes, it was thrilling. Unfortunately, now he is slobbering on female sportscasters!


Sigh...How the mighty fall....... "


(Pssssst............Janet, at least he's not in prison -- or on heroin! Hey, his hair doesn't look too bad either, by the way. Lookin' good Joe! Just watch the brewskis there bud.

Hey, I don't know about you all........but I think Janet gets a prize for actually sitting and having dinner next to her crush (and for fessin' up about Tom Jones, but that's another story......).

Way to go, Janet. Who cares if Joe got a little tipsy and came on to a female sportscaster.....on the air. There still aren't many guys out there who can put on a pair of pantyhose, quite like Joe!

Great crush scoop!

The final respondent requested to remain anonymous.....and believe it or not, it is a male. Yes, there are a few males who are on the Red Carpet Rehab mailing list, believe it or not.

Ya know.......I've been trying desperately to recruit more, but they just keep kicking me out of the locker room at the YMCA. Go figure.

Anyways......

Here is how Anonymous replied to my crush request:

"Please do not use my name........

Olivia Newton-John (both the "good" Sandy and "bad" Sandy in Grease)




Julie Christie (Lara in Dr. Zhivago)




and Sienna Miller (mostly based on her role in the (old) television series Keen Eddie)

Now about these choices........

I'm sure you're all thinking........Olivia Newton-John. Too cute, so pretty, beautiful voice. What female didn't want to be her in Grease? She is perfect as the "good" Sandy....and then she's great as the "bad" Sandy as well. And -- she gets to ride off with Danny Zuko. Perfect.

She's very crush-worthy. Good choice Anonymous.

On to Julie Christie as Lara in "Zhivago." She's beautiful, romantic and tragic. Kinda like Paris Hilton.....without the beautiful and romantic.

Understandable crush as well.

But it's the last one that's a little shaky.

Miss Miller is somewhat attractive......

but nowhere near in the league of the previous 2 lovelies.

She has been chastised by Red Carpet Rehab before for her wardrobe. I mean what is this?


You wear a skimpy black bathing suit and a fedora out to lunch in NYC with Jude Law? No wonder he shagged the nanny. He was worried you went off your rocker.

At least he knew she was in the rocker.....holding his kids!

No, this 3rd choice didn't make much sense.......that is until I saw the following 2 pictures next to one another........

("Tell me about it.....Stud.")



Sienna Miller is all: "Look at me.............I'm bad San-Dee!"

OK, now I get it.
(I also understand why you chose to remain Anonymous.)


So believe it or not................those are some of the crushes of our youth. Otherwise known as, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." (in no particular order)

I hope you all enjoyed this little jaunt down memory lane....and I hope it made you chuckle a little this Valentine's Day.

I"m off now to dig up the old copies of a script I was writing as a spin-off to one of my all-time favorite shows of the 70's........... "Happy Days."

Seems I had a great idea for a show.....but somebody stole it and changed the casting before I could give them my pitch.

Whaddaya think..............2 cute kids.......from different worlds,


fall in love and try to make it work, despite the objections of her over-protective parents and brother.....


and his crazy Jewish uncle, who thinks he's Italian and wears leather and rides motorcycles around all day.


Maybe it's just me...................


but I think that "Kelly Loves Chachi" would have been a huge hit!


Oh Well..................

Happy Valentine's Day Everybody!