"What The Heck?" Wednesday

Hey there Rehab Readers............

I've decided to try something new.

I'm going to try to post a little something everyday......not just the long-winded posts that I tend to do once a week.

Or maybe even a few short posts throughout the day. As I find things that I feel I must pass on to you.

Ya know, with all of the wackiness out there in La-La Land .......there really is plenty of material!

(Sometimes I may send a link to you in an email.......or you can just check the blog yourself to see if anything new is up. It's up to you.)

Soooooo..............

I've decided that today is:

"What The Heck?" Wednesday.

It could also be:

"Why Oh Why?" Wednesday.

Or even:

"What's Up With That?" Wednesday.

But.....I must tell you, I decided against:

"WTF?" Wednesday ..............




.................because I'm a lady, and ladies don't blog like that.

OK. That's settled.

Here is what made me say...... "What The Heck?" today.

What the heck is Nicolas Cage thinking?

I mean.....I know he has a new movie coming out......it's called "Ghost Rider."
(Sure to be on all the Oscar lists come this time next year......)

But why the heck does he feel the need to pay homage.........
(fancy French for: "tribute")
to one of our most beloved actors/Oscar winners?

You know who he is tryin' to look like.......c'mon, just say it.............that's right...........




Hanks......Tom Hanks.

Forrest Gump. Bosom Buddy. Shipwrecked Guy. Guy Who Stars With Meg Ryan Alot. Guy Who Saved Private Ryan. Guy Who Let A Drunk Hairdresser Pick His 'Do For "DaVinci."

Ya know..........that guy.

But Nic.........you're NOT that guy.

I know, I know. You did win an oscar.......... but for playin' a drunk guy.

Hanks is never drunk. I don't even think he drinks, smokes or curses. He's bulletproof, man. He's beloved by all of America.

You, on the other hand, are not.

Let's be honest.

You're pretty much known as:

Guy who's related to Francis Ford Coppola, Guy Who Chose Some Interesting Movie Roles(But Nobody Saw Them), Guy Who Is (Creepily) Obsessed With Elvis Presley, Guy Who Dressed Like Elvis in A Vegas Movie,


Guy Who Then (Creepily)Married Elvis' Daughter(for about 10 min.),



Guy Who Can Truly Act, But Is Now Trying To Get His Career Back On Track......So He Made A Cheesy Movie Called "Ghost Rider" And Is Sportin' Some Really Bad Hair.

Yep.....you're that Guy.

But Nic..........this doesn't mean we don't like you. It just means..........

You ain't no Hanks. We know Hanks.....and you sir, are no Tom Hanks.

So,in the spirit of helpfulness(and because,what the heck....it's Wednesday)
we offer you some advice:

Lose the 'do.

If you really want to be an actor, beloved by all of America like Tom Hanks .......you're gonna have to fix your hair.

Tom realized the error of his ways, and he went back to his real Hanks hair.

So Nic.....go back to a simpler time, a happier time, a more clean-cut time........



No...............not that time..............

No, not that time either.....................



Definitely not that time..............



Yessssssss! That's it! The perfect combination of simpler, happier and clean-cut. And look......you even have a pretty girl on your arm. Nice touch.

Our work is done here my friend.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

In that picture....I think that's Hanks' girl.

What is this Cage? Not only do you "do the Hanks 'do" ..................
you move in on his woman too?

Sneaky, very sneaky. You're not as dim as we thought Nicky boy.

You're gonna be OK.

Congratulations ........you're definitely on the road to "Hanksville."

Now Meg ........a cute little girl named Shirley and I would like to have a word with you about those curls...............