"What The Heck?" Wednesday

Hey there Rehab Readers............

I've decided to try something new.

I'm going to try to post a little something everyday......not just the long-winded posts that I tend to do once a week.

Or maybe even a few short posts throughout the day. As I find things that I feel I must pass on to you.

Ya know, with all of the wackiness out there in La-La Land .......there really is plenty of material!

(Sometimes I may send a link to you in an email.......or you can just check the blog yourself to see if anything new is up. It's up to you.)

Soooooo..............

I've decided that today is:

"What The Heck?" Wednesday.

It could also be:

"Why Oh Why?" Wednesday.

Or even:

"What's Up With That?" Wednesday.

But.....I must tell you, I decided against:

"WTF?" Wednesday ..............




.................because I'm a lady, and ladies don't blog like that.

OK. That's settled.

Here is what made me say...... "What The Heck?" today.

What the heck is Nicolas Cage thinking?

I mean.....I know he has a new movie coming out......it's called "Ghost Rider."
(Sure to be on all the Oscar lists come this time next year......)

But why the heck does he feel the need to pay homage.........
(fancy French for: "tribute")
to one of our most beloved actors/Oscar winners?

You know who he is tryin' to look like.......c'mon, just say it.............that's right...........




Hanks......Tom Hanks.

Forrest Gump. Bosom Buddy. Shipwrecked Guy. Guy Who Stars With Meg Ryan Alot. Guy Who Saved Private Ryan. Guy Who Let A Drunk Hairdresser Pick His 'Do For "DaVinci."

Ya know..........that guy.

But Nic.........you're NOT that guy.

I know, I know. You did win an oscar.......... but for playin' a drunk guy.

Hanks is never drunk. I don't even think he drinks, smokes or curses. He's bulletproof, man. He's beloved by all of America.

You, on the other hand, are not.

Let's be honest.

You're pretty much known as:

Guy who's related to Francis Ford Coppola, Guy Who Chose Some Interesting Movie Roles(But Nobody Saw Them), Guy Who Is (Creepily) Obsessed With Elvis Presley, Guy Who Dressed Like Elvis in A Vegas Movie,


Guy Who Then (Creepily)Married Elvis' Daughter(for about 10 min.),



Guy Who Can Truly Act, But Is Now Trying To Get His Career Back On Track......So He Made A Cheesy Movie Called "Ghost Rider" And Is Sportin' Some Really Bad Hair.

Yep.....you're that Guy.

But Nic..........this doesn't mean we don't like you. It just means..........

You ain't no Hanks. We know Hanks.....and you sir, are no Tom Hanks.

So,in the spirit of helpfulness(and because,what the heck....it's Wednesday)
we offer you some advice:

Lose the 'do.

If you really want to be an actor, beloved by all of America like Tom Hanks .......you're gonna have to fix your hair.

Tom realized the error of his ways, and he went back to his real Hanks hair.

So Nic.....go back to a simpler time, a happier time, a more clean-cut time........



No...............not that time..............

No, not that time either.....................



Definitely not that time..............



Yessssssss! That's it! The perfect combination of simpler, happier and clean-cut. And look......you even have a pretty girl on your arm. Nice touch.

Our work is done here my friend.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

In that picture....I think that's Hanks' girl.

What is this Cage? Not only do you "do the Hanks 'do" ..................
you move in on his woman too?

Sneaky, very sneaky. You're not as dim as we thought Nicky boy.

You're gonna be OK.

Congratulations ........you're definitely on the road to "Hanksville."

Now Meg ........a cute little girl named Shirley and I would like to have a word with you about those curls...............

Overheard At The SAG Awards Last Night.....

"Look Helen........I keep tellin' ya, I know I'm married to an older woman and all....but seriously, I'm NOT interested in....'A Little Tumble With The Queen' as you put it.

And no......I won't play 'Hide The Knickers' OR 'Spank the Jester' with you.....even if you do give me your SAG Award.

Uh Oh.....Demi just looked up and she's on her way over here. Great! She already caught me talking to Betty White and Bea Arthur. Listen, you better just remove your hand and walk away now, or I'm gonna get another time-out!"


Meanwhile.....in the press room backstage.......

"Yay! We won another award for 'Grey's Anatomy!' Lucky for us.....Isaiah Washington isn't here this time to spoil our fun. Quick-thinking Patrick Dempsey changed the 'S' to an 'F' on Isaiah's SAG Award invite..........and curiously, Isaiah was suddenly too busy 'in rehab' to attend. Way to go McDreamy!"


Later, overheard at the "Dreamgirls" table after Eddie Murphy's win........


"Yo.....Jamie, my man. Please tell me that person over there, the shaggy-haired brunette who just grabbed my butt and gave me a HUGE congratulatory kiss, please tell me that's a chick.

I forgot my glasses tonight.....and as you know, I don't have the best track record when it comes to that sort of thing."


"Hmmm.......let me check it out for you there Eddie. Oh yeah. I see the tall brunette you're talkin' about. Oooops. That's who grabbed and kissed you?

I'm not sure how to tell ya this man. Let's just say.............



Have you ever heard the song......... 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' ?"


Walking the red carpet on the way into the awards, "Dreamgirls" breakout star and Oscar nominee Jennifer Hudson exclaimed:

"Hmmpft. Some people think that they are the only divas in the room. Well I'll show Miss Thang a thing or two about divas. Who got the Oscar acting nomination now huh? Mmmmm Hmmmm.....yeah, that's right Be-yotch, I mean.....Be-yon-say. I'm here and I am workin' this gown girl. The rest of y'all can just sit down and take a number."



At the "Desperate Housewives" table, Eva Longoria and basketball star fiancee Tony Parker made quite a cute couple. Let's listen in on their conversation, shall we........?


"See Tony......the wedding planner sent me pictures of all sorts of great stuff to show you. I promise, you're gonna love it!

Here are the flowers, here are the place settings. Look at the cute centerpieces with the little basketballs on them. And see, the bridesmaids (all of the 'Housewives' -- except that slut, Nicollette Sheridan!) are going to be in Spurs cheerleader uniforms.

It won't be boring at all....I promise. We're giving away sweatbands to all of the guests, and we even get to high-five the minister after he pronounces us Husband and Wife. It'll be awesome!


Speaking of 'Desperate Housewives' ..................

It was so nice of Teri Hatcher to pull us aside and fill us in on her bold new ad campaign for Spray-On Mystic Tan. It seems the girl on the left is the "Before." And Teri .....well, as you can see...........



she's most definitely...............the "After."

Hey, it's Hollywood. Who needs sunblock?


Finally, the evening's most emotional moment came when Julie Andrews received the Screen Actors Guild "Lifetime Achievement Award."


After a clip montage of some of her more memorable roles and co-stars, there wasn't a dry eye in the house as lovely Julie stepped to the stage.

Looking as youthful and prim as ever......Miss Andrews brought to mind that proper British nanny as she smiled and accepted her award from former "Mary Poppins" co-star.......Dick Van Dyke.


Fortunately, the audience couldn't hear her when she exclaimed that she had "always been such a big fan of Dicks ........

.....especially this one, ever since he played the father on that wonderful TV show, 'Eight Is Enough'."


(Oooops..............wrong "Dick" there Julie!)


Miss Andrews then walked offstage and was overheard asking for directions to Ashton Kutcher's table.


Hey, give her a break.

She wasn't really a nun...............



...........she just played one in a movie!

Oscar Nom Update - 25 out of 30 ain't bad........

Well, the Oscar nominations were just announced. My guesses were pretty good, except for a few surprises...........

No Jack Nicholson for "The Departed." Mark Wahlberg got the nod for "The Departed" instead. Good for him..........I thought he was great in the flick. Jack was Jack, and maybe a little over the top. (But I love him anyways!)

Jackie Earle Haley got a Supporting Actor nod for "Little Children." It's not a total surprise, he had been mentioned for this.

I saw this film a few weeks ago with my sis (and I read the book). It is very good, but a little icky and creepy at times. Definitely NOT a feel-good flick. Most of you will remember Jackie from "The Bad News Bears" (the bad kid on the motorbike) and "Breaking Away."

Believe me when I say......he is definitely different in this film. You won't forget him.

I'm thrilled that Abigail Breslin was nominated for "Little Miss Sunshine."

She is adorable, and the movie wouldn't have worked without her. I loved that flick. Abigail is 10 years old, and now ties Tatum O'Neal for the youngest nominee ever. You go girl! (I'm waitin' for the Abigail Breslin/Dakota Fanning fashion smackdown on the Red Carpet. You just wait!)

Other surprises............

Poor "Dreamgirls."

They barely got any Oscar love.

Only Supporting nods for Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson.

No Best Picture, no Best Director............

I also saw "Dreamgirls" with my sister, at an advance screening way back in November --and we both really liked it. I happen to love musicals (and I did see the Broadway show, way back when) and I thought it was very well done.

Definitely, Jennifer Hudson is very deserving of the nomination........Eddie is pretty good as well.

Oh well. The next big Broadway musical headed for the big screen is "Hairspray." I'm really lookin' forward to this one.


It's due this summer.........with none other than one of my all-time faves -
John Travolta - in DRAG. He's playing the larger-than-life singing mom, Edna Turnblad. It also has the cutie-patootie Zac Efron from "High School Musical."


That'll bring the tween crowd in for sure.

My daughter Kate and I saw this show on Broadway in September. It really is a lot of fun.....with great music, sets and dancing. I'm hopin' the movie captures the fun. We'll see.

So.........I guessed 25 right out of 30 possible nominations. Not bad, but I'm hoping to do better on my guesses for the actual winners. I've got a month to check the odds.

I guessed well in the acting catagories......but no "Dreamgirls" for Best Picture or Director tripped me up. Also, the supporting nods for Haley, Wahlberg....and Rinko Kikuchi for "Babel."

Did you see her at the Golden Globes?



(Pretty girl....but what's with the shower sponge-puff dress?
Red Carpet Wear by Walgreens)


I can't wait to check out what she wears to the Oscars. It'll be hard to top a dress that looks like a swan...........




but something tells me............Rinko is up for the challenge.

We'll see..........

My Oscar Nomination Predictions Are.......

.........Just wait, I'll tell you in a minute!

It's now 11:00 pm Monday, January 22nd. The Oscar nominations are going to be announced on live TV tomorrow morning at 8:30 am, by the lovely Salma Hayek.


I've got some thoughts on who will be picked, so I will definitely be watching.

I'm guessing that most of you probably won't even read this blog until after the announcements.....but I thought I would jot down my predictions anyways.

The Oscars will be presented on Sunday, February 25th.

Because I love movies and moviemaking so much......I'm a sucker for a show filled with movie stars, honoring movies.

Even as a kid in elementary school.....it's always been one of my favorite nights of the year. I used to make a deal with my parents to let me stay up late to watch the awards....as long as I took a nap after school.

I think that there are quite a few obvious picks this year..... (Helen Mirren, Forest Whitaker, Martin Scorcese, Jennifer Hudson,The Departed, Babel) and some wild cards that I think just might sneak in there...... (Little Miss Sunshine, Ryan Gosling, Penelope Cruz, Emily Blunt).

This has been a great year for movies.....I've seen a lot of interesting films, and there are still a lot left that I want to see before Oscar night (No, "The Hitcher" isn't one of them.....).

Well, for whatever it's worth.... here are my picks for what (and who) will receive Oscar nominations on Tuesday morning:

Best Picture

Babel
The Departed
Dreamgirls
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

Best Director

Bill Condon - Dreamgirls
Clint Eastwood - Letters From Iwo Jima
(or Flags of our Fathers, but I think it will be for "Letters")
Stephen Frears - The Queen
A.G. Inarritu - Babel
Martin Scorcese - The Departed

Best Actor

Leonardo DiCaprio - The Departed
Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

Best Actress

Penelope Cruz - Volver
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet - Little Children

Best Supporting Actor

Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine
Djmon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson - The Departed
Brad Pitt - Babel

Best Supporting Actress

Adriana Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Emily Blunt - The Devil Wears Prada
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls

There you have it........my thoughts on who might be waking up very happy tomorrow morning....at 5:30 am California time.


(Helloooooo Leo, Jack and Marty......Oscar's calling!)

Once the nominations are announced, and it gets closer to the actual awards date, then I'll make my predictions about the winners.

I have a few ideas now, but I'm sure you all know......a lot can happen in Hollywood in a month.

Shoot, I think one of Drew Barrymore's marriages (the first one, I believe.....) lasted less than that!


Well, that's all for now from Oscar Central - Midwest Division (otherwise known as......my living room).

As my good friend Arnold once said (remind me to tell you the story sometime about my interesting dinner with he and Maria....in a Mexican restaurant in Santa Monica in 1982) ............


............. "I'll Be Back".

It's 11:00 pm: Here's A Quick Golden Globes Review - Not Enough Wackiness(except for Borat - Yikes!).....and (Most) Everyone Looked Great!

Just a few quick, random comments before I hit the bed...........

*Yikes......I can't believe the things that they let Borat (Sacha Cohen) say on national TV (I'm too much of a lady to repeat them here, by the way......)


He is funny, but hoo boy.....he gives new meaning to the word "inappropriate." I must say.....in "real life", he is kinda cute tho.....and I love his accent. Go figure.

*Best Looking (Definitely Best Hair) -

Hands down...............no competition............

Reese Witherspoon!

I'm lovin' the hair(Ohhh, those cute bangs!), the dress(you rocked that yellow gown girlie!), the whole she-bang.

Honey, lookin' good is the best revenge. You go girl!

I guarantee she's gonna be near the top of all the best-dressed (and tressed) lists.


*Angelina and Brad did walk the red carpet together (and did look surprisingly lovey dovey at the table during the show). They seemed to be enjoying themselves on American soil, for a change!



I do believe however, they kept trying to adopt the young Asian actress from "Babel" that was seated next to Angelina during dinner. This is despite the fact that the girl introduced them to her mother, who was seated right next to her. Oooops!


*Best Bod - Jessica Biel (Aaron Spelling really did know how to pick 'em)


She looks great......her hair is soft and pretty, and that gown really flatters her figure. She must work out....what......27 hours a day? When does this girl have time to act?

I loved her in "The Illusionist." She and Ed Norton are so great together (He is really yummy in that). It is such a great film.....and love story. If you haven't seen it.....I strongly advise you to rent it, it just came out. I think you'll enjoy it.


*Worst Hair - It's a tie (but remember, I haven't seen all of the pictures yet....)

Vanessa Williams - from "Ugly Betty" ...................



OK....I think I know what is going on here. Vanessa is just trying to get into character. I heard she is planning to audition for the awesome Pam Grier role in an update of the 1974 classic...... "Foxy Brown."


I'd say she nailed it.


And now for the other half of the 2-way "Bad Hair" tie............


Sienna Miller - from.......uh, let's see, what would you all know her from......I can't think of any acting jobs that you might have seen.......or even heard about, for that matter.

How about.........

Sienna Miller - from............oh, just forget it.

Stop actin' like you don't read the tabloids. You all know she's that little British chippie that Jude Law left his wife for.....and then cheated on with.......the nanny.

Evidently, today - of all days - her hairstylist didn't show up..........so she decided to keep a stiff upper lip, and not to brush her hair at all. She merely pulled it back with a rubber band and tacked on a big, blonde fake hair braid.

Ya know, I don't mind the natural-looking (or I guess, complete lack of)
make-up. It's kind of refreshing in Hollywood. But seriously Sienna ...........

You were a presenter tonight............



Lose the hair braid.

I mean, just because Jude was with the nanny, doesn't mean you have to start dressing-up like "Heidi."

OK..............

I'm almost done. I just figured out that I got 5 out of my 9 Golden Globe predictions correct.

Not great, but not too bad.

I predicted wins for:

Helen Mirren, Forrest Whitaker, Meryl Streep, Martin Scorcese, and Ugly Betty.

I didn't predict wins for:

Babel, Dreamgirls, Grey's Anatomy and......can you believe it......
Borat(Sascha Cohen).

Oh Well, maybe I'll do better on my Oscar Ballot(I know Borat ain't gonna get that one!)

OK........I'm done for now. Gonna go hit the hay.

Can't wait until tomorrow to see what other great stuff is waiting for me when I hit the internet!

Til then..............

Why I Love The Golden Globes........

Yay........... tonight is the night!

The 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards are on NBC from 8 to 11 pm this evening.

This can't be a long post......I must get ready for multiple hours of TV viewing. I mean c'mon.......the lead-up to the actual awards is the very best part.

First things first. If you don't already know, the Golden Globe Awards are given out each year by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association(HFPA).

I believe this is a group of about 5 guys and 3 gals who write for some newspapers in Europe and like to throw a big party for celebrities each year.

Whoever it is........they do throw one whopper of a party. Nuthin' like the stuffy 'ol Oscars.

This is a fun awards show to watch for many reasons,

Here are the top 3:

* Both Television Shows and Motion Pictures are honored
(more stars!)




* Dinner is served during the show
(more stars, eating Chicken or Fish!)



* There is an open bar all night
(more stars, getting totally toasted and acting completely wacky!)




These 3 reasons alone are enough to make this an evening to remember for any Hollywood-lover like me.

Some Examples:

Jack Nicholson is notorious for getting drunk at this shin-dig and acting crazy. This is great for us at-home viewers.




One time he won an award and went to the stage, turned around and proceeded to talk out of his butt, no lie!

Lucky for us.....Jack is nominated tonight for Best Supporting Actor for
"The Departed" .....and I'm thinkin' he's gonna win (I hope.....).

Not only will Jack be there for that.....but his good buddy Warren Beatty is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award, so I'm sure Jack has been asked to say something onstage for that.



Top it all off with the fact that his teen daughter Lorraine is Miss Golden Globes this year(she's the eye candy that will be handing out the statues).


The HFPA always chooses the offspring of a celebrity to hand out the awards. Last year it was Dakota Johnson .....the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson.


(Cute girl........but I'm thinkin' she's gonna need some serious therapy someday!)

Anyways.....Dakota was the first Miss Golden Globe who was the offspring of a former Miss Golden Globe(Melanie did it way back in the day.....when she was just known as the daughter of Tippi Hedren -- ya know, from "The Birds." )

Anyways......whatever happens, just keep your eyes on Jack ........I guarantee something good is gonna happen.

OK.........I need to finish this up.......The "E" Network is starting their marathon all-day coverage, and I can't miss a minute.

However, as I mentioned earlier......the lead-up to the actual awards show is one of the very best parts.

Why?

The Red Carpet, people..............the Red Carpet.

I'm just gonna leave you with a few photographic examples of why the Golden Globe Awards red carpet must not be missed..............

Jen and Brad....way back in 2002. Look how cute they are together....in those matching tuxes and all. But wait a minute.....Jen is smiling and Brad is scruffy and scowling. What's up with that? Oh wait....it's because he just caught a glimpse of another couple on the red carpet.......



Angelina and Billy Bob.....also on the red carpet in 2002.(Hey, what's up with those eyebrows Ange? Whoa....lookin' a little freaky, hon. Oh, and nice beret there BB).

Guess what? Brad is nominated for "Babel" this year.....so now Ange and Brad are gonna walk the red carpet together.....I think. Well, we'll have to watch to see if that happens.

What do ya wanna bet, Jen will be home watchin' on her couch......throwin'
stuff at the TV. Bet her brows are lookin' good though.


Nice gown Pammy........looks like you've got "the girls" in some kind of black satin sling of some sort. Oh, and I'm just lovin' that you're showin' the barbwire tat on your upper bicep.....such class Pammy!

Sharon, Sharon, Sharon...........you do not disappoint. Is that the featured gown from the cover of the current
"Dominatrix-R-Us" catalog? The crazy hair, the ripped skirt.....and those boots. Honey Hush!

Lara Flynn Boyle...........I don't know what to say.........on someone else, this might actually look good. On a walking toothpick with a bad bob and red lips.....it just looks freakish. I think that she was still dating Jack Nicholson when she wore this get-up. I dunno..........maybe her theme that year was
"One Got Dressed In The Cuckoo's Nest."


Paula Abdul..............you seem to be smiling.........but girl......what in the world is happening to your right breast? Is that dress some sort of medieval torture device? Number one.....it is a very ugly dress(HATE the skirt....). Number two....it looks positively painful. Did Simon Cowell make that one for you honey? Please, please, please..........get thee to a stylist, quick!


Fran ("I ain't yo Nanny no mo") Drescher. OK......flowers are nice. Like most gals, I enjoy a beautiful bouquet every once and awhile. Just.......not.............on.........my.....HEAD! (How do you water those, by the way?)



Cammy Diaz.....from 1999. What in the world, girl?

Did you just grab the closest bedspread and wrap it around yourself.....after you jumped out of the shower with wet hair.....and realized you were late for the Golden Globes.....so you slapped on some red lipstick and bolted out the door?

Girl......that is the only explanation for this get-up. No excuse.

Now....this was taken before Justin Timberlake entered the picture.. Unfortunately for Cameron, Justin got ahold of this picture recently, and ..........well, you know the rest.

Sorry hon! (And doncha know.....Miss Brit is just laughin' her butt off right now!)

Well that's about it. I gotta go gear up for the big show.

But first, I almost forgot. I want to give you all a few of my predictions for tonights big awards (not necessarily who I want to win, it's who I think will win):

Best Picture(Drama) - The Departed

Best Picture(Musical or Comedy) - Little Miss Sunshine

Best Motion Picture Actor/Actress(Drama) - Forrest Whitaker & Helen Mirren

Best Motion Picture Actor/Actress(Musical or Comedy) - Johnny Depp & Meryl Streep

Best Director - Martin Scorcese (The Departed)

Best TV Series(Drama) - Heroes

Best TV Series(Comedy) - Ugly Betty

I just picked out a few of the main catagories........we'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to see if I'm psychic or not.

OK............that's all for now.

Make sure to watch the big show. Pay special attention to the red carpet, and all of those glorious get-ups.....and the wacky people wearin' 'em.

Believe me.....I'll be bloggin' about 'em soon, I'm sure.

And don't forget........keep your eyes on Jack..............




You won't be sorry.