Why I Love The Golden Globes........

Yay........... tonight is the night!

The 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards are on NBC from 8 to 11 pm this evening.

This can't be a long post......I must get ready for multiple hours of TV viewing. I mean c'mon.......the lead-up to the actual awards is the very best part.

First things first. If you don't already know, the Golden Globe Awards are given out each year by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association(HFPA).

I believe this is a group of about 5 guys and 3 gals who write for some newspapers in Europe and like to throw a big party for celebrities each year.

Whoever it is........they do throw one whopper of a party. Nuthin' like the stuffy 'ol Oscars.

This is a fun awards show to watch for many reasons,

Here are the top 3:

* Both Television Shows and Motion Pictures are honored
(more stars!)




* Dinner is served during the show
(more stars, eating Chicken or Fish!)



* There is an open bar all night
(more stars, getting totally toasted and acting completely wacky!)




These 3 reasons alone are enough to make this an evening to remember for any Hollywood-lover like me.

Some Examples:

Jack Nicholson is notorious for getting drunk at this shin-dig and acting crazy. This is great for us at-home viewers.




One time he won an award and went to the stage, turned around and proceeded to talk out of his butt, no lie!

Lucky for us.....Jack is nominated tonight for Best Supporting Actor for
"The Departed" .....and I'm thinkin' he's gonna win (I hope.....).

Not only will Jack be there for that.....but his good buddy Warren Beatty is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award, so I'm sure Jack has been asked to say something onstage for that.



Top it all off with the fact that his teen daughter Lorraine is Miss Golden Globes this year(she's the eye candy that will be handing out the statues).


The HFPA always chooses the offspring of a celebrity to hand out the awards. Last year it was Dakota Johnson .....the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson.


(Cute girl........but I'm thinkin' she's gonna need some serious therapy someday!)

Anyways.....Dakota was the first Miss Golden Globe who was the offspring of a former Miss Golden Globe(Melanie did it way back in the day.....when she was just known as the daughter of Tippi Hedren -- ya know, from "The Birds." )

Anyways......whatever happens, just keep your eyes on Jack ........I guarantee something good is gonna happen.

OK.........I need to finish this up.......The "E" Network is starting their marathon all-day coverage, and I can't miss a minute.

However, as I mentioned earlier......the lead-up to the actual awards show is one of the very best parts.

Why?

The Red Carpet, people..............the Red Carpet.

I'm just gonna leave you with a few photographic examples of why the Golden Globe Awards red carpet must not be missed..............

Jen and Brad....way back in 2002. Look how cute they are together....in those matching tuxes and all. But wait a minute.....Jen is smiling and Brad is scruffy and scowling. What's up with that? Oh wait....it's because he just caught a glimpse of another couple on the red carpet.......



Angelina and Billy Bob.....also on the red carpet in 2002.(Hey, what's up with those eyebrows Ange? Whoa....lookin' a little freaky, hon. Oh, and nice beret there BB).

Guess what? Brad is nominated for "Babel" this year.....so now Ange and Brad are gonna walk the red carpet together.....I think. Well, we'll have to watch to see if that happens.

What do ya wanna bet, Jen will be home watchin' on her couch......throwin'
stuff at the TV. Bet her brows are lookin' good though.


Nice gown Pammy........looks like you've got "the girls" in some kind of black satin sling of some sort. Oh, and I'm just lovin' that you're showin' the barbwire tat on your upper bicep.....such class Pammy!

Sharon, Sharon, Sharon...........you do not disappoint. Is that the featured gown from the cover of the current
"Dominatrix-R-Us" catalog? The crazy hair, the ripped skirt.....and those boots. Honey Hush!

Lara Flynn Boyle...........I don't know what to say.........on someone else, this might actually look good. On a walking toothpick with a bad bob and red lips.....it just looks freakish. I think that she was still dating Jack Nicholson when she wore this get-up. I dunno..........maybe her theme that year was
"One Got Dressed In The Cuckoo's Nest."


Paula Abdul..............you seem to be smiling.........but girl......what in the world is happening to your right breast? Is that dress some sort of medieval torture device? Number one.....it is a very ugly dress(HATE the skirt....). Number two....it looks positively painful. Did Simon Cowell make that one for you honey? Please, please, please..........get thee to a stylist, quick!


Fran ("I ain't yo Nanny no mo") Drescher. OK......flowers are nice. Like most gals, I enjoy a beautiful bouquet every once and awhile. Just.......not.............on.........my.....HEAD! (How do you water those, by the way?)



Cammy Diaz.....from 1999. What in the world, girl?

Did you just grab the closest bedspread and wrap it around yourself.....after you jumped out of the shower with wet hair.....and realized you were late for the Golden Globes.....so you slapped on some red lipstick and bolted out the door?

Girl......that is the only explanation for this get-up. No excuse.

Now....this was taken before Justin Timberlake entered the picture.. Unfortunately for Cameron, Justin got ahold of this picture recently, and ..........well, you know the rest.

Sorry hon! (And doncha know.....Miss Brit is just laughin' her butt off right now!)

Well that's about it. I gotta go gear up for the big show.

But first, I almost forgot. I want to give you all a few of my predictions for tonights big awards (not necessarily who I want to win, it's who I think will win):

Best Picture(Drama) - The Departed

Best Picture(Musical or Comedy) - Little Miss Sunshine

Best Motion Picture Actor/Actress(Drama) - Forrest Whitaker & Helen Mirren

Best Motion Picture Actor/Actress(Musical or Comedy) - Johnny Depp & Meryl Streep

Best Director - Martin Scorcese (The Departed)

Best TV Series(Drama) - Heroes

Best TV Series(Comedy) - Ugly Betty

I just picked out a few of the main catagories........we'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to see if I'm psychic or not.

OK............that's all for now.

Make sure to watch the big show. Pay special attention to the red carpet, and all of those glorious get-ups.....and the wacky people wearin' 'em.

Believe me.....I'll be bloggin' about 'em soon, I'm sure.

And don't forget........keep your eyes on Jack..............




You won't be sorry.

Happy New Year Y'all...........

Hey everybody..........hope y'all had a great holiday season and a wonderful New Year!

Red Carpet Rehab is happy to be back from an extended holiday break. Hope you missed it, and you're glad to see it return.

Looks like some people celebrated the New Year a little bit more than others, huh Brit?

Apparently, Our Miss Brit decided to start the new year the same way she ended the old one......in Vegas, passed out in a club, wearing some skanky short, black glitter dress and workin' that nasty blonde weave of hers.

Miss Brit was hired to "host" a New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas at the
Pure Nightclub at Caesar's Palace. A real classy joint, by the way(or so their press release says......).

Believe it or not, Brit Brit was actually chewing a big wad of gum while getting her picture taken in the press line.

"Class" is her middle name, by golly!

Oh well..........there are also some rumors flyin' that the new songs she has recorded are awful, that her record label is gonna dump her and she may be headin' off to rehab. We'll see about that.

No worries. That silly 'ol music thing doesn't have to work out. As long as party promoters keep payin' her to hang out in their clubs, she'll be able to afford whatever live-in nanny (or "Manny") is takin' care of those two little babies of hers.

Can't ya hear it:

"Hey Sean P..........hey Jayden James! Shout out to y'all. Mama's busy workin', but she'll be home soon. Daddy'll be there on the weekend for his court-appointed visitation.

Hear he's takin' both y'all and his other two babies to Chuck E. Cheese for some lunch, and then on to the video arcade and tatoo parlor.

Kiss, kiss babies. Be good y'all. I'll see ya real soon. Mama loves ya more than a Big Gulp and a bag of Funyons.

Oh yeah....by the way, Auntie Paris says 'Hey'."


Lucky for us.....I'm sure Miss Brit has much more drama in store for the new year.......she never lets us down. Can't wait.


(Like some more of them awesome fashion choices...........)

Sorry......just had to get that out of my system.

Now for something totally different................

I wanted to share with you all a cool website that I just read about this morning.

It's called Liveplasma.com

This fun website lets you type in the name of a favorite movie, actor, singer or band. You hit enter, and then it creates this cool "map" -- with links to all sorts of other movies, actors, singers, etc. (that are similar to the one you typed in)that it thinks you will also enjoy.

Try it.........I've been playing with it for awhile.......it's addictive!

For example: I typed in one of my all-time favorite movies.... "Grease."


I mean, c'mon........who hasn't lip-synched to "Summer Lovin' " at one time in their life?



So the site brings up other movies it thinks I might like.....and it's pretty accurate.....to a point. I mean, OK...... "Grease 2" is a good pick(the flick was just so-so....some of the songs were cute.....but boy, did I think that Maxwell Caulfield was a cutie-pie!)


It also picked "Saturday Night Fever" and "Flashdance." Also good picks.

In fact, I may still have one of those Jennifer Beals cut-up sweatshirts somewhere in my basement. I'm gonna go dig it out, I think they're back in style.

(Along with those infamous "Bubble Dresses" ......doncha know)


Another one of it's picks for me.......... "Xanadu."

If you are a regular reader of the Rehab.....you may know that I have referenced this classic film a few times. If you haven't seen it, rent it.



Truly....there are no words to describe the lovely Olivia Newton-John.....
coming to life from a painting on the side of a building.....and roller-skating across southern California to classic songs by ELO.

And then.....she dons a 1940's get-up and actually sings and dances with Gene Kelly! I mean, for me.....in the 80's......it doesn't get any better than that!



Finally, Liveplasma also picked a movie for me that I actually paid to see in the theatre, right when it came out. I think only 12 other people in America saw this film, and that's including Olivia AND John Travolta.

It's their much-anticipated reunion movie...... "Two of A Kind."



Let's just say, I had such high hopes.......I was so innocent and naive back then.

Unfortunately, the only things I liked about this very pitiful flick were -- Olivia's cute short hairdo and her hit song, "Twist of Fate."

Where was that chemistry between Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson?



Oh Well. Life is full of disappointments. I could go on and on.

Anyways......you get my drift. I don't know how it does it.....but this
Liveplasma.com thingie is pretty neat.

Try it, and let me know what you think.

Hmmmm......wonder what would show up if I entered Miss Britney's name?



(I'm a-thinkin' -- White Trash, Trailer Parks, Tatoos and Red Bull,
how 'bout you?)


Have a great day everyone............

Cagey :)

Just In Time For The Holidays.....Our "Celebrity Christmas Gift List"

We get it.

Everyone is always saying........... "Ahhhh.....the holidays are here!" The fresh smell of pine, the beautiful sounds of Christmas carols, the joyous faces of young children waiting for Santa.

But sometimes, it's feels more like.......... "Yikes, the holidays are here!" The last-minute rushing around for gifts, fighting for that one open parking space at the Mall, opening that yearly Christmas letter from your smug cousin Martha in Maine and her pretty, perfect family of five.

Seriously........the holidays can be a scary time. Just check out that picture up there. That kid ain't lookin' too thrilled, if ya ask us.

We're sure he's just worrying about finding the right gift for everyone on his Christmas list. That can be a truly frightening thing.

Well, we here at Red Carpet Rehab have decided to make your holiday gift-giving just a little bit easier. We know you've been wondering what to get that hard-to-buy-for celebrity on your Christmas List this year.

Fear not, we're here to help.

So...........without any further ado, we now present:

The Red Carpet Rehab -- Celebrity Christmas Gift List -- 2006


Reese Witherspoon



What to get a beautiful actress and happy mother of two? She already has an Oscar.......a gorgeous smile, a great head of hair and teriffic fashion sense to boot. Hmmmmmmm............what could she possibly need?



Oh yeah.......how 'bout the phone number of a good divorce lawyer. That's it.

Wait a minute, I just got word that another famous gal already took care of this gift for Reese..............


Way to go Christie............you gals need to stick together! Best of luck to ya.


Lindsay Lohan



OK........we know, this is an easy one..........
.
.......... underwear.

Listen La Lohan, we just wanna get you something that you need. What do you prefer......bras, panties......or both? How 'bout both. Yeah, I think that's best. Do you have a style preference? No? OK. How 'bout we round up you and your 2 blonde buddies and we drive ya all over to Wal-Mart. We hear they're havin' a big sale on undies and what-not. We could get you gals into some of them Hanes cotton ones that all the celebs are promotin' nowadays. I can see their new ad campaign already:




"Lindsay, Britney and Paris......Look Who We've (Finally) Got To Put Underwear On Now"



By the way............while we are on the subject.............


Miss Britney


We were just wondering if y'all would fancy a JC Penney gift card to go with some of them new Wal-Mart undies we'll be givin' ya.

If recent photos on the internet are to be believed.......you not only desperately need some lingerie............you're runnin' a little low in the T-shirt department as well.

Why else would you go out on the town with your posse dressed like this...........


............and then the next night go back out on the town with the same guys.....dressed like this?


Girlfriend...........are you so behind in your laundry duties that you have to wear the same awful-lookin' Michael Jackson Thriller T-shirt........that your buddy wore the night before?!

Or are you just too lazy to find somethin' else to put on.

Honey..........just take that gift card we're givin' ya and find yourself somethin' purty to put on next time. Puh-leez!



Mary-Kate Olsen



Another easy gift.

Honey...........how 'bout a sandwich? Seriously........you need to eat somethin' little girl! You're gonna waste away to nuthin', and then who would cute little Ashley hang out with?

How 'bout a pastrami on Rye? No? OK, howz about a nice grilled cheese with a bag of chips on the side. And maybe a chocolate milk shake too. Heck....we'd even take you to Steak and Shake if you'd let us.


Really M-K.........food is good, and fast food is GREAT! Ya oughta try it sometime.

Oh yeah...............and about that outfit. We were wondering if we could possibly get you a gift card to Old Navy or The Gap.



We gotta get you out of those frumpy oversized outfits and huge sunglasses that make you look like a bag lady......or somebody's weird Aunt Ida. Ya know, the Aunt with all the garden gnomes and the house that smells like stinky cheese.

In fact...........is it just me...........or is Mary-Kate starting to look like ET the Extra-Terrestrial........when Drew Barrymore dressed him up in playclothes during the movie?







Dunno............We think the resemblance is frightening!


And while we're on the subject of clothing for Christmas..............


Simon Cowell



Somebody.........anybody...........please give him a nice turtleneck sweater. Maybe a festive red one from LL Bean or Land's End. Something in a nice comfy cotton would work. As long as it covers his upper body.

Yikes Cowell.........we've seen your chest, and your chest hair. Enough already, we get it. You're a virile, macho man from "Across The Pond"...........sent to the States to help us find our American Idols. Bully for you, old chap! Thanks so much.........now could ya please just button it up?


Speaking of covering up.............

Howz about a gift of a nice velour warm-up suit for Mr. Shirt-less himself --


Matthew McConaughey.

What ever happened to that old saying...... "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" ?
This guy is never dressed! We know he is basically a glorified beach bum.....but seriously......what does he have against wearing clothing like the rest of us?

Well, we're sure he looks even more attractive and virile when he's all gussied up.......


Hmmmm........then again, we have been known to be wrong before. Oh well, scratch that.

Hey Matt........forget the warm-up suit we were gettin' ya...........stick with the shorts and 7-day stubble. Go with what ya know, we always say.


And finally, if we are speaking about what ya know..............


We know this:


There is something very strange going on in Hollywood -- in regards to hair.

We think gifting certain celebs with some much-needed hair styling products would not be such a bad idea this Christmas.

For example,

While some celebrities are in need of a good bottle of hairspray..........

Bee-yawn-say



Others merely need a hairbrush.....well, and maybe a full-length mirror, too.

Zooey Deschanel (from "Elf")


Speaking of giving a hairbrush and mirror.............look at this photo of Cybill Shepherd. Not bad, not bad at all. Hair and make-up look pretty darn good.


Well, that is not a recent photo. We're afraid she has apparently lost her hair brush, her blow-dryer, her mirror and maybe even her mind.........



Quick ..........somebody please wrap up a gift bag with a bunch of hair-styling aids (and make-up samples) for poor Miss Shepherd..............

We do believe she's in danger of scaring small children.

Ooooops..........too late..............



Looks like the little girl in green just got an eyeful of Cybil and she's lookin' to bolt.

Hey, check out the face on the little lad. He's sayin' -- "Yikes, now I know why Bruce Willis couldn't wait to get away from 'Moonlighting' !"

The girl in red is only happy because she just realized that if the two
young-uns leave, she's gettin' their free candy canes from Mr. Store-Front Santa there.

Back to hair (and then we're almost done with this list) --


Some celebs desperately need a new hair-stylist ................

Scarlett Johannsson (Wow.....I got nuthin' for this one.......)


Denise Richards (ex-Mrs. Charlie Sheen - sportin' the birds-nest look)


Gwen Stefani (in an ad for "Dippity-Doo".....or Cinnabon)




While other celebs just need the gift of hair.


Hmmmm........and maybe a Lands End turtleneck for Mr. Clean here too..........

Joey deserves a nice gift. He seems like a cutie and all-around nice guy. Too bad about the "Dancing With The Stars" thing there Joe. I hear "Skating With Celebrities" is holding an open casting call. Check it out, we'll send that turtleneck to ya Next Day Air.



OK........that about wraps up the Celebrity Christmas Gift List for this year. Hope this helps you during your final days of shopping.

If you ask us........these are some very deserving celebs, with very real needs. Any gift or monetary donation you could provide will be greatly appreciated. Seriously.

Oh wait.............We almost forgot. Somebody mentioned a celebrity bachelor who recently lost a beloved pet, and might be looking to find the right girl and finally settle down.


(Nice turtleneck, by the way........)


If only he could find a nice mid-western gal, with good values and a solid upbringing. One who knows a lot about movies and Hollywood, but wouldn't get her head turned by the flashiness of it all. One who likes to read, write, take long walks, has her own computer......you get the drift.

Hmmmm........maybe we could give him a great Christmas gift. Ya know......to help cheer him up, after the loss of his pet. Maybe we give him the phone number of such a gal......and he could give her a call, and who knows? Those two kids could maybe become friends.......and then.............

Now.............if we could only find somebody like that..........

Christmas Came Early This Year! Ladies and Gentlemen, I Now Present To You......."The Original Bubble" !

Yes..........this is it.

The picture I've been begging and pleading for.

The snapshot that immediately came to mind as soon as I began seeing all of the recent red carpet photos of Hollywood starlets sporting the "new" fashion craze............... "The Bubble Dress."

This is the 25-year-old photo that I just knew my good friend Jennifer Diederich would have in her possession(tucked away somewhere in a box with a dog-eared copy of Shaun Cassidy on the cover of Tiger Beat, and an assortment of movie ticket stubs and "Pop Rocks" wrappers.)

The image of this glorious red taffeta dress is burned into my memory. This dress was the ultimate of class and sophistication for young women in the
early '80's........and JJ had it.

She bought it at Lazarus Department Store for the 1981 Watterson Christmas Cotillion Dance. A red dress for a Christmas Dance.......how perfect!

The dress was so perfect and proved to be such a show-stopper........she wore it again at the end of the year to the Father/Daughter Dance. Hey............
2 dances, 1 dress. This awesome dress was not only
fashion-forward, it was an economic investment!

Now, unfortunately...........I don't have a lot of time today to adequately cover all of my memories about.........this dress, that dance, her date, my date, the early 80's, Shaun Cassidy(her crush), Timothy Hutton(my crush), cool movies("Back To The Future"),cool songs("Let's Get Physical")...........you get the drift.

I promise to do that later.........sometime soon. Ya know, when I'm just sittin' around.......eatin' bon-bons.

But today............ I did have to post this photo.

And one more thing.........just to refresh your memory, here are some of the lovely ladies who have been recently spotted on the red carpet -- sportin' JJ's
25-year-old, forward-thinking fashion sense................


Anne Hathaway.........from "The Devil Wears Prada", in a photo taken just this week



Duh-Mee Moore...........'nuff said........



Some Young Hollywood Starlets.....you know who they are...........

AND..............

The 2 red "Bubble Dress" pictures that I recently saw...........that started this
whole thing.............


Livin' La Vida Lopez.................

AND........finally............I present to you..........

Miss Congeniality herself ...........the lovely Sandra Bullock.........AND.......
Miss Fashion-Forward herself ......the lovely Jennifer Diederich --

YIKES !!.............




The resemblance......it's uncanny. It's like Deja-Vu.....all over again!

Thanks so much JJ for the pic............Christmas did indeed come early
this year!